Glue in the Alarm Clock
by GundamGreg
Summary: Erm... this actually has nothing to do with alarm clocks. It's only PG for a few swear words.. it's crazy. FF.net should make a randomness genre..


The title was random, the idea was random, the fanfic webpages that tell you how to be a better author say never be random and plan out your fic before you write it but even people like me, who try to follow the rules of making a good story to the point, have to have a break and bend everything out of focus with our crazy side! M'kay, you got the idea? M'kay?  
  
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"Not again!" Peach wailed as she checked her underwear drawer and found chicken feathers glued to every pair of panties and bra. Zelda and Samus were both sleeping soundly, as was Nana. Most people don't get up at 4 in the morning to get everything perfect for a battle, ya'know?  
  
"POLICE!!" She heard Roy yell outside, and then the sound of something splashing in something very squishy and sticky. Soon afterwards, his laughing, coupled with Marth and Fox's, echoed though the hall.  
  
Another splat, and Fox screamed "ELECTRIC MONKEY!" and sound of the three boys running was soon heard. Peach sighed and opened the door just a crack. Gooey melted cheese, chocolate, and marshmallow ran though the doorway and she stepped back a few paces until she heard muffled cries for help.  
  
She took off her slippers and stepped across a small stream to get out the room. Pichu and Bowser were covered in the yellow-brown substance that comes from chocolate, marshmallow, and cheese and hung upside down by string made of something that smelled like dead skunk.  
  
Of course, Peach didn't exactly want to save them. So she didn't, and walked past to the kitchen to get a light snack. She reached up into the cupboards and pulled down a box of cereal. She then took the cereal out, still in it's bag, and walked off with the box, tearing pieces off and eating them. [1]  
  
She stilled and suddenly ducked into a dark corner as she heard Roy yelling what seemed to be random things such as "STILL DUCK GLUG SPLAT HAGGLEBLOOF!!" which what he was yelling at that moment. Several beeps from Mr. Game and Watch answered and Marth laughed loudly.  
  
She ripped a piece of cardboard off the box and brought it to her mouth. Fox, who had been scouting ahead for the other three goofballs, pricked up his ears and suddenly got down on all fours, sniffing at the ground like a dog. Suddenly he growled and pointed right at Peach, who yelped and dropped the whole box.  
  
"CLICK CLICK HOGMONKEY!!" Roy yelled and ran at Peach. She screamed and ran off towards her room, pulling her dress up a bit so she wouldn't trip on it. She made a daring leap for her room... and made it! Just as she was about to do a victory dance, something behind her pushed her and she fell, her hand outside 'the girl's territory.' Marth and Roy both jumped to grab her and ran into each other.  
  
As they fell over grabbing their heads, Mr. Game and Watch drug her into the cheese mixture and she wailed hysterically, "YOU GOT MY FAVORITE DRESS IN THIS... THIS... SHIT!!!"  
  
Everybody stopped whatever they had been doing, even Kirby and Jigglypuff.. ewww.. and stared at Peach in shock. They even stopped sleeping and sat straight up in bed, staring at her in disbelief though their walls.  
  
Peach sat up and crossed her arms. "Like I never cussed before, you all act!! Well shit damn hell fuck bitch whore slut!!" Captain Falcon's head rolled off and fell into a black hole, he was so shocked.  
  
Young Link jumped out of his bed "Oh my god, you killed Falcon, I'm saved!!" Then he exploded with joy, literally. Blood and something purple with orange polkadots splattered on the walls and on Ness and Popo. Ness took a taste and giggled.  
  
"Tastes like ass!" he commented happily "Not that I'd know what ass tastes like.. of course..." he added in as he noticed Popo staring at him weirdly.  
  
So, remember children, when Peach cusses excessively, it causes baaad things. Some funny, but mostly baaaad.  
  
Anyway, after a few minutes, everybody's shock died down. Peach was still drenched in the cheese stuff, and everybody was awake. Without haste though, Roy pulled some of the nasty smelling string out of a magical skunk painted bag and tied Peach up in it, before hanging her upside down from the ceiling. Roy shoved one of his old gym socks in her mouth and she began crying from the combined smell, taste, and overall dirty feeling she had.  
  
Suddenly Roy said something about global air and Marth nodded and set the cheese, chocolate, and marshmallow, which had now hardened, on fire. It blazed like gasoline, yet Peach didn't get burned. Marth and Roy chanted about global air moving yellow Neopets while Mr. Game and Watch began dancing, all with Fox howling in the background.  
  
Marth began throwing small pellets into the fire, and they popped and let off tons of smoke. Mr. Game and Watch waved the air towards the three strung up over the fire. Soon Peach began to get very very dizzy, and she thought the string was melting into her. Suddenly the fire stopped, the cheese mixture had melted all the way again. Peach and the other two Roy and his gang had caught dropped, but there was no string to be found, only the remains of the pellets sinking into the chocolately grossness.  
  
Suddenly Peach let out a shriek as she looked towards Pichu and Bowser. Pichu was a little skunk-painted Meerca, while Bowser was a Scorchio, also painted skunk.  
  
"YOU CHANGED THEM!!" she yelled, pointing at the freaks. Marth nodded.  
  
"Our whole cult's purpose is to change everyone into Neopets. We'll be seeing what you change into in an hour or two, since you're human." Peach screamed to the heavens and shoved a whole can of paint thinner up her nose.  
  
Later she changed into a skunk Krawk and died because she got high off pretty much everything you can get a high off of and had a seizure. But since nobody cares about Krawks because they're rich neopians' pets, nobody helped her.  
  
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[1] = I actually do this, so don't pass it off as just a weird joke. Paper, fabric, and plastic make up a lot of my diet.  
  
Why does all my fanfics end with somebody dying, whether I mean it or not? I like Peach, she's cool, I didn't mean to kill her. But I hate Krawks. One bit off my toe.  
  
What was the whole point of this fic? Nothing. But I like Roy and Marth (They are both very very sexeh!!) so I wanted to make them a part of their own little cult. Or something. I don't know. 


End file.
